What to Ask During Your First Meeting with a Divorce Lawyer

Going through a divorce can be one of the most difficult and emotionally taxing experiences in anyone’s life. When you’re facing this challenging journey, having the right support is crucial — and that’s where an experienced divorce lawyer comes into play. But before you dive into the legal process, it’s important to be fully prepared for your initial meeting with your attorney. This meeting is your opportunity to set the stage for the entire legal process, so you’ll want to ask the right questions to ensure you’re getting the best advice and guidance possible.

In this article, we’ll cover the key questions to ask during your first meeting with a divorce lawyer, and how these questions can help you make informed decisions throughout the process.

1. How Much Experience Do You Have with Divorce Cases?

First and foremost, it’s important to establish the lawyer’s level of expertise. Divorce law isn’t just about splitting assets; it involves navigating complex issues like child custody, spousal support, and property division. You want someone who has extensive experience in family law and specifically in divorce cases.

Questions to ask:

  • “How many years have you been practicing family law?”
  • “How many divorce cases have you handled?”
  • “Do you have experience with cases involving children or high-net-worth divorces?”

A lawyer who has experience in handling cases similar to yours will be able to give you better insights into your situation and how they would approach your case.

2. What Are Your Fees and How Are They Structured?

Understanding the financial implications of your divorce is crucial, and your lawyer should be transparent about their fees from the get-go. Divorce lawyers generally work on either an hourly basis or a flat fee, depending on the complexity of your case. Make sure you understand how billing works so you can avoid any surprises down the line.

Questions to ask:

  • “What is your hourly rate, and how do you bill for your services?”
  • “Will I be required to pay a retainer fee upfront?”
  • “What other costs should I expect throughout the divorce process?”

Be sure to ask about additional costs, such as court filing fees or expenses related to hiring experts, which could quickly add up. It’s always a good idea to get an estimate of total costs early in the process, so you can budget accordingly.

3. What’s Your Approach to Divorce?

Each lawyer has a different approach to handling divorce cases. Some may be aggressive, while others might focus on mediation or reaching a settlement out of court. Depending on your goals and the complexity of your situation, you’ll want a lawyer who aligns with your preferred strategy.

Questions to ask:

  • “Do you prefer to go to trial, or do you focus on mediation or settlement?”
  • “How do you handle difficult cases or emotionally charged issues, such as child custody or asset division?”
  • “What’s your philosophy when it comes to working with clients during a divorce?”

If you are interested in a less confrontational process, you might lean toward a lawyer who emphasizes mediation or collaborative divorce. If your case involves significant disputes, a lawyer who is comfortable with litigation might be more appropriate.

4. What Is the Likely Outcome of My Case?

While no lawyer can predict the outcome of a divorce with certainty, an experienced attorney should be able to give you a reasonable estimate based on their knowledge of your situation. Understanding the likely outcomes of issues like child custody or property division will help set your expectations for the journey ahead.

Questions to ask:

  • “Based on the details I’ve shared, what are the likely outcomes for child custody and division of assets?”
  • “Do you foresee any major obstacles or challenges in my case?”
  • “How do you typically handle situations like mine?”

A good lawyer will provide a realistic assessment of your case and let you know what factors could influence the outcome. This helps you avoid unrealistic expectations and prepares you for what’s to come.

5. What Is the Timeline for My Divorce?

Divorces can take time, especially if there are disagreements over significant issues. However, having an understanding of the timeline can help you plan your next steps and manage your expectations. Your lawyer should be able to outline how long the process might take based on the specifics of your case.

Questions to ask:

  • “How long do you expect my divorce to take?”
  • “What are the steps involved, and how long does each one typically take?”
  • “How can I help speed up the process if needed?”

If your divorce involves minor children or complex financial arrangements, it may take longer to finalize. However, in many cases, a simple uncontested divorce can be completed much more quickly.

6. How Will You Communicate with Me Throughout the Process?

Effective communication is key to a smooth divorce process. You’ll want to know how your lawyer prefers to communicate and how often you can expect updates. Some lawyers are quick to respond, while others may only reach out periodically. Setting expectations around communication will ensure that you feel supported and informed throughout the entire process.

Questions to ask:

  • “How do you prefer to communicate with clients? Email, phone calls, or in-person meetings?”
  • “How often can I expect to hear from you?”
  • “How quickly do you typically respond to questions or concerns?”

Some lawyers may offer communication through secure client portals or other digital tools, which can be more efficient than traditional methods.

7. Do You Think We Will Need to Go to Court?

While many divorces are settled outside of court through negotiation or mediation, some cases do require litigation. It’s important to understand your lawyer’s strategy and their perspective on whether a trial is likely or if a settlement is possible.

Questions to ask:

  • “Do you believe that we will need to go to court in my case?”
  • “What are the chances of settling this case out of court?”
  • “What is your approach to preparing for trial if necessary?”

If your case seems likely to go to court, you’ll want a lawyer who is experienced in litigation and can represent you effectively during a trial. If you’re hoping for a more amicable resolution, your lawyer should be comfortable with negotiation and settlement discussions.

8. Can You Help with Temporary Orders?

In some cases, you may need temporary orders for issues such as child custody, child support, or spousal support while the divorce is pending. These orders are designed to provide stability and clarity before the final divorce decree is issued. If you need these, it’s important to ask your lawyer how they can assist with obtaining them.

Questions to ask:

  • “Do you help clients with temporary orders for child custody, support, or spousal support?”
  • “How quickly can we file for temporary orders?”
  • “What are the chances of obtaining a favorable temporary order in my case?”

Temporary orders can help ensure that you’re not left in limbo while your case progresses, so it’s important to discuss this with your lawyer early on.

9. How Will You Protect My Interests?

During a divorce, emotions can sometimes cloud judgment. A good divorce lawyer will protect your best interests and make decisions based on what’s best for you and your family. Ask how they plan to safeguard your rights and ensure a fair settlement.

Questions to ask:

  • “What steps will you take to protect my interests during this process?”
  • “How do you handle cases where the other party is being unreasonable or aggressive?”
  • “How can you help me preserve my financial stability throughout the divorce?”

A lawyer who is committed to your well-being will be proactive in ensuring that your needs are addressed throughout the process, from child custody to property division.

10. What Happens After My Divorce is Finalized?

Once the divorce is finalized, there may still be follow-up actions, such as enforcing child support or spousal maintenance. It’s important to understand what the post-divorce process will look like and how your lawyer can assist with any remaining issues.

Questions to ask:

  • “What happens after the divorce is finalized?”
  • “How do we enforce the court’s orders for child support, alimony, or custody?”
  • “Can you help me modify the agreement if circumstances change in the future?”

Your lawyer should be able to help you with post-divorce matters and ensure that any final orders are implemented effectively.


Meeting with a divorce lawyer for the first time can be overwhelming, but having a clear set of questions will help you feel more prepared and confident. By asking these key questions, you can ensure that your lawyer is a good fit for your needs, and you’ll be better equipped to navigate the divorce process smoothly. Remember, your lawyer is there to protect your interests and help you make the best possible decisions during this difficult time.